How to identify and weed out toxic people?
Everyone knows that they should cut off toxic people from their lives. But They have difficulty identifying what exactly is toxic and even if they do so they will hesitate to cut off the ties.
The Tank Theory
Suppose you are a water tank, with a natural water source from the ground. Many pipes of different capacities and build strength are pouring into you.
Water denotes happiness and the will to live. Ground Water is the natural happiness that one gets from within himself. Whereas the pipes are external sources of water (happiness)
Some pipes pour in acidic water that damages the container walls. This pipe is toxic.
We should call a person toxic when their contribution to our lives makes our lives unhappy even when they are not around us. They mix acid into our water and it slowly eats up the container. The acid is so slow that you can’t see the effects in a day but if you compare yourself with your past self, you can analyze how much you have deteriorated.
Now you know which pipes pour in acid regularly or occasionally. Any pipe that pours in acid regularly has to be removed. The Occasional ones have to be analyzed. Here’s how to analyze them: -
· Is your Ground Water not enough?
Do you need someone else to increase/maintain your happiness?
· Can you block this pipe occasionally?
Can you reduce the inflow of toxicity of this person by ignoring them when they are toxic?
· Is the pipe too strong?
Is your relationship with this person too strong to cut off ties?
If you answered Yes to all the three questions then remove this person despite their occasional toxicity, if any of the answers was No then bite the bullet and slowly cut off the pipe.
Worst Case Scenario
If you have to retain a partially toxic person — Increase your Groundwater supply so that you can dilute the acid from them. Natural Happiness increase by doing things you love.
If we let the acidic pipes keep pouring into our container of happiness, one day it will eat up the tank and all our happiness will be drained out.
Don’t worry if you have had toxic people in life , the natural ground water will slowly dilute all the acid they poured in .